Dispatches From The Home Office
/// 11.22pm Sunday 22 March
As I lay in bed drifting off to sleep my phone chirps a familiar sound. Who is texting me this late?
"Hi Pat. All work is TBC. The Plan is to continue as much as possible. Stand by for updates"
I am one of the lucky ones, but it doesn't feel that way.
A single SMS is all it takes to cancel about 40 per cent of my work for the remainder of 2020. Unlike some I can survive on what's left.
That’s cold comfort on a sleepless night…
// 4:28pm Monday, 30 March
Like all well managed government announcements, the papers tell the story well before the announcement.
The announcement runs like clockwork, Scott Morrison appearing before the nation to outline an extraordinary $130 billion assistance package.
JobKeeper. Everything needs a name which sounds like it has been dreamt up by someone with a job title like "Product Evangelist".
The program's name and its delivery to the world ultimately do not matter. What really counts is whether it helps those in need.
Accompanying the announcement is a press release with a promising line.
"Self-employed individuals are also eligible to receive the JobKeeper Payment."
I go register my details on the tax office website.
// 11:56am Thursday 2 April
Hundreds of thousands have registered to apply for JobKeeper. Its virtual queue joins the quiet Australians lining up outside a Centrelink office for assistance. It is still unclear whether you need to line up for the JobSeeker formerly known as unemployment assistance, but for many this is their first rodeo with 21st century Australian welfare and they have no idea what kind of grotesque nightmare it has become.
I am tempted to join them since there is no clear information on whether I can apply for JobKeeper, let alone how.
Every ordinary service has collapsed under the weight of society shifting to a homebound economy, and the tax office are no exception to this.
The phone rings. It's my accountant calling about last year's tax return, being lodged late. I’m sure they won’t mind, I’m due for a refund anyway.
A lot of his other clients have the same issues I am and even he is unsure about eligibility criteria. If he who lives in taxland full time can’t figure this out, what hope does anyone else?
// 12.47pm Friday 17 April
My accountant delivers the bad news. The federal government will not do anything to assist me through this global pandemic.
The news caps off nearly three anxious weeks seeking clarity on whether the federal government will help me.
In that time my business has billed fewer than five hours.
Draw a circle around self-employed people, then do the same for those with permanent part-time jobs.
Its intersection does not receive any assistance for lost business income, all government assistance is tied to their part time job.
JobSeeker? You've got a job. JobKeeper? You've got a job.
And be bloody lucky you've got one, whether you can survive on it or not.
The cold, calculating binary logic does not compute in a nuanced world.
// 1.05pm Thursday 11 June
There is no room for nuance in policy. Only accounting errors larger than some countries’ GDP and time to amend its criteria ruling out sectors like universities.
Speak of the devil, a university newsletter drops in my inbox. They are seeking donations from their alumni to help students facing hardship.
It’s a heartbreaking pitch, complete with a student describing it as a light at the end of the tunnel.
They join the chorus of Australians facing hardship without any federal government assistance.
Why have so many Australians been hung out to dry?